His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
