at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
