we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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