you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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