Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
