I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
