But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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