Umm I'm too high to move.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
