i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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