You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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