with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
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