Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
