fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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