but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
