How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
