you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
