Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
