I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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