It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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