You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
