u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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