And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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