brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
