Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
