Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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