Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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