this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
