Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
