She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
how drunk are you?
Several
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
