Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
