If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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