Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
