Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
