I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
