I want to stick my p in your. b.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
whose ass print is on the piano?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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