yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
