Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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