Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
