im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize