HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
