how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
