I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
