My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
