so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
