it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
tell me about the eggs
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
