Are we in a gay sports bar?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
