So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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