I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
