yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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