My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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