I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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