I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
